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User blog:Sheepalicious McBigbutt/Toxic Friendships - What To Do About 'Em
I was talking with some friends (I'll call them X '''and Y') the other day, and they came to me with some troubling news. They had been verbally attacked by a mutual friend of theirs ('Z'), who blamed X and Y for not being there for Z when he needed them there. While it might have been true that they've grown apart a bit, the two of them were very busy balancing their hectic lives (college, work, relationships, etc.), and feel that Z could have done his part in coming to them when he wanted their company. After apologizing to Z and expressing their feelings to him, he responded with harsh criticism, calling them names, insulting their lifestyles, the works. While X and Y are tired of being treated this way, they don't want to let go of the good times they had with Z. After hearing this predicament, I remembered a time when I was in a similar situation with my old friends, and how I went about coping with my feelings and getting out of the unhealthy situation. '''I know first-hand that relationships such as this can take a huge toll on someone in a mental and emotional way. ' So, I decided to do some research and pour my heart out into a blog post on what should be done about a relationship such as this. I hope you guys find this blog helpful! 'What is a toxic friend?' A toxic friend is a friend who when around you belittles you or makes you feel bad about yourself. Many people are in the undesirable position of being mistreated by a "friend." They stress you out, are often unreliable and demanding, and hardly give anything back. Toxic friendships are unsupportive, draining, and often unequal. A friendship is between two people. There has to be balance and equality in a friendship for it to be healthy, not just meeting one person's needs and overlooking the other's. In a toxic friendship, the relationship is anything but equal. Often times, a friend like this is someone who makes you feel bad about yourself instead of good; someone who is often critical of you; a friend that can drain you mentally, financially, and emotionally. A relationship like this is unhealthy, and something must be done about it. 'What should I do about this?' Before acting upon this, you should ask yourself these questions: ~Is this something that your friend has just started to do, or has it been going on for a long time? ~Does spending time with your friend make you feel defensive or upset? ~Do you spend time justifying your own behavior around your friend instead of it feeling "natural" to be together? ~Are you happy with this friend? ~Do you feel belittled, attacked, used? ~Does the friendship feel unbalanced and like plain hard work? ~Do you feel at fault for things that happen to your friend? ~Has your friend betrayed your confidences? ~Does it feel like competition rather than a balanced and caring friendship? If any of these indicate that your current friendship is toxic, you need to GET OUT OF THAT FRIENDSHIP. Yes, it will be tough to have to let go of a friend, especially if you did have some good times with them in the past, but is it truly worth staying friends with that person if the constantly mistreat and belittle you? When it comes to something like this, you have to advocate for yourself and have some self-respect. Friendship takes joint effort, and if your friend isn't going to put in any effort to better the relationship between the both of you, it's time to cut them out of your life. [[User:Sheepalicious_McBigbutt|'Sheepalicious McBigbutt']] These Hips Don't Lie! 20:35, November 10, 2015 (UTC) ___________________________________________________________________________ Sources: 'http://www.wikihow.com/Recognize-a-Toxic-Friend ' 'http://www.webmd.com/women/features/toxic-friends-less-friend-more-foe ' 'https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/magnetic-partners/201301/toxic-friendships ' 'http://thoughtcatalog.com/gaby-dunn/2013/01/15-signs-you-have-an-abusive-friend/ ' Category:Blog posts